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  1. Kitty Chicky Cat
    Kitty Chicky Cat says:

    Very fiery pick! It looks frustrated! I hope you’re not!

  2. Kitty Chicky Cat
    Kitty Chicky Cat says:

    Correction!! it expresses the emotion of frustration beautifully! The pick itself looks like a success!!

  3. movie chick aka susan
    movie chick aka susan says:

    love it!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Hi Kitty! Thank you. Actually yes, I am very frustrated, with my kids’ “father” that is. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say he is no more of an adult than my 4-year-old son is and I am trying to change his visitation to supervised visits. Had a big argument over the phone with him last night and of course he does it in front of the kids to try to make me look bad. I’ve been dealing with his lies, anger issues, etc. for 9 years now and I think I’m actually beyond the point of frustration.

  5. Kitty Chicky Cat
    Kitty Chicky Cat says:

    I’m so sorry Ivy!

  6. movie chick aka susan
    movie chick aka susan says:

    i am sorry for your frustration with your children’s father.

  7. Southern Chickie
    Southern Chick says:

    Ivy…I sooooo understand…Been there, done that, and am sometimes still dealing with it. I’m thinking about you and praying for your strength and encouragement.

  8. movie chick aka susan
    movie chick aka susan says:

    i wish i could say more but I don’t know what would help…i choose not to have a relationship with my child’s father…he is British and lives in London, England.

  9. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Thank you ladies :) I like to think that I am pretty cool-tempered (most of the time lol) but I am really losing it this time!! Honestly something needs to give. I’ve been doing a lot of praying and have had many people pray for this situation as well but so far nothing has changed. I know there will be change when the time is right, but I’m just so tired of my children being subjected to unacceptable environments/behaviors etc.

  10. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Thank you so much Southern Chick. Susan, I WISH my kids’ “father” lived in England!! LOL

  11. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    I will add my prayers to that wish for you and your mental strength. You have our support!.

  12. Southern Chickie
    Southern Chick says:

    Ivy…You’re welcome precious one…hang in there…don’t let bitterness creep into you soul…Its a horrible thing…You are going to be made much stronger woman after you’ve gone through these trials…

  13. movie chick aka susan
    movie chick aka susan says:

    Most of the time, for me, I am glad that he lives so far away because I know that if he were closer things be would be frustrating more often than not…but I do feel for my kiddo not having a relationship with him (but it has always been this way)…one of the reasons for wanting my father to live with me was so that she had a close relationship with an adult male…it is such a hard balancing act!

  14. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Thank you SO much to all of you wonderful ladies :) We have such comraderie (is that how you spell it?) and support here, and we’ve never even met each other!

  15. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    sorry about that, Ivy. I know how arguments can stay with you – and keep you hot for awhile. try not to let it – not healthy – you’re the bigger, better peson, sweety. good to take your frustrations out on a pick(s) – this is hot! sharp!

  16. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    and to chat with us, of course too – that’s good – get it all out with us

  17. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Yes, I have such respect for single mothers (I did it for a short while). But thank God for my wonderful husband, he truly loves and treats my children as if they were his own. He’s known them since my son was 1 year and my daughter was 3, so they’ve always considered him a father figure in addition to their “real” father. Susan, it’s good that you have the support of your father like that, and I’m sure your little one appreciates having him around, too. :)

  18. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Yes I do love talking to all of you (and making these addicting fresh picks!) Thanks for lending an ear and I am ALWAYS willing to return the favor :)

  19. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    I have such respect for single mothers, married mothers in good marriages, married mothers in bad marriages – all mothers, foster mothers, step-mothers, what you women do is the most beautiful of gifts.

  20. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    You’re right, all mothers that are good to their kids have my respect as well.

  21. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Love your pick…looks just as you describe it. I can’t imagine how frustrating your situation would be; not ever having issues like that. Sometimes is it frustrating enough to have my husband, the father of my kids, around all the time. He’s a good father and husband but still, sometimes…..

  22. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Hi Elaine! Thank you. Just wondering, how old are your children? Are they still at home?

  23. Cathy H Chocolate Chick
    Cathy H Chocolate Chick says:

    I hear you on that one, Elaine!! Sometimes I get so frustrated I want to scream.

    Ivy, I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that things take a turn for the better. I know that you are a strong woman and can get through this, one day at a time.

  24. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Oh thank you so much Cathy! I really appreciate everyone’s words of encouragement and prayers. What wonderful ladies we have here! :)

  25. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Hey, sometimes screaming (into a pillow or in a closed room!) is the thing to do!! :)

  26. No Photo
    DOG Chick aka Angela says:

    Just remember that this is a “season” and it will not last forever. I know how hard this is and I will add my prayers to all the Chicky’s prayers. BIG HUGS! Angie

  27. Happy Chick aka Harriet
    Happy Chick aka Harriet says:

    We have also dealt w/ some custody situations in our family. My husband and I have been fortunate to build a long (34 yr.), strong marriage. But we have seen 1st hand the heart ache when things are not that way.
    The best I can offer is that with a strong base, and time to see what is real, kids mostly figure it out. If one parent is steadily there for them, and they open their eyes enough to see the other is just a poser, kids get it!
    This is not a restful pick, but it shows plenty of fire and spirit. Hang in there.

  28. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    Happy, Congrats on 34 years! Wonderful! I am at not quite 5 1/2 and at wits end.
    Congrats to you and he!

  29. Happy Chick aka Harriet
    Happy Chick aka Harriet says:

    Thanks; every year, we look at each other and say, “well how “bout another 30 or so? Im’ game if you are.”
    That said, I don’t believe in staying in an unsafe or damaging situation that can’t be fixed. Abuse is NOT acceptable. A relative had to leave an abusive and dangerous marriage, and we only wish she had opened up and told us sooner. No one deserves to be mistreated.

  30. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Hi Cuban Queen, our kids have been out of the house for a few years now. My son is 29 and my daughter is 27. It took us a few years to get them out though :-)
    Cathy H. ~ Yep. You’ve heard of the movie ‘Grumpy Old Men’? Sometimes that’s my husband! Although I’m sure that if there was a movie called ‘Grumpy Old Ladies’ it would apply to me sometimes too! :-)

  31. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    I opened up to my one brother. I was concerned – not because of him, per say, he’s a great kid, man – but because of our Catholic upbringing. I was ready for the self-righteous, judgmental, *rap. Nope – he is super supportive. I don’t know that the rest of my family would be so supportive. I’m trying, Harriet – Lord knows, I’m trying, but……
    I’m so glad for you and your husband – that’s what I thought I’d get – that’s what I wanted. Despite the stats, never thought these words would be coming out of MY mouth……

  32. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Smoky Rose Chick, it’s great to have support like that. It’s quite hard in my family. I have 4 brothers and they are all quite a bit older than me (I was an after-thought), so it’s almost as thought they are a full generation apart from me. It’s not really them, it’s the age difference so because of that, we really have nothing in common at all.

  33. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    this one in particular is only 4 years younger. he and I are close. he is very level headed – good egg. the others…. well, as though they should be permitted to even have a say?!?!? time will tell – we’ll see. All brothers, no sisters, Elaine?

  34. Anita QoG Funny Chick
    Anita QoG Funny Chick says:

    Sweet, Smoky Rose & Loving Ivy hang in there!! We all have times similar to one of you, in our lives, it’s HARD, but, believe me, they don’t last forever!! Your both wonderful ladies, and with all our prayers & well wishes, we can help you overcome!!!! Let out all your frustrations here, don’t let them follow you, that will only hurt you!!! You know you’ve got all my heart, I’ve come to love you all as sisters, so treat us as your sisters & come to us anytime!!!!!

  35. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Yep, all brothers, I’m the youngest and only girl. I hated it growing up because I felt like an only child, kinda lonely. By the time I was old enough to remember anything, all my brothers had moved out of the house. :-( As time has gone on, we really haven’t gotten much closer. That’s why it’s so nice to see my son and daughter making an effort to get closer than they were when they lived at home. They can hopefully build on that as they get older! :-)

  36. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    I gotcha Funny Chick. I gotcha. Thank you. Trying hard – bags not packed …..yet.
    Thanks for listening!!!!!
    Anita – Happy aka Harriet in TX wants Chickdom bestowed.

  37. Anita QoG Funny Chick
    Anita QoG Funny Chick says:

    Smoky Rose, you have to make the best choice for YOU. Your the only one who can make you happy! Honey do what you have to, you’ve got us!!! We will always try to be here for you!!!!

  38. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    oh, I’m sorry, Elaine. How my brothers and I didn’t accidently kill eachother growing up is still a mystery. We played hard and faught harder. All 3 are super – great guys. Sure we don’t see eye to eye on everything, but what fun would that be?! – that would make for quiet family dinners. I’m the only girl too. Everybody thought that meant I was one spoiled brat growing up. I think mom would have liked to spoil me rotton – and sure, to some extent, yeah – but with those three – nope – keep up with em or shut up. They treated me like one of the guys. Looking back, maybe it made me a hair tougher.
    I hope for you and they, that your children get closer! :)

  39. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    Anita, XOX

  40. Anita QoG Funny Chick
    Anita QoG Funny Chick says:

    Back at ya, SWEETY!!!!

  41. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Yeah, everyone thinks that I’m spoiled too! Well maybe my Dad did, just a little! :-) It’s funny, the most I can remember about a couple of my brothers growing up is playing marbles with one and knocking the other’s front tooth out with an old glass glue bottle! Oops!

  42. J Yee smart chick
    J Yee smart chick says:

    good morning everyone,

    Ivy, thanks so much for sharing your ongoing frustrations with your kids’ “father”, sounds like longstanding patterns of behavior that aren’t okay for you and your kids – how do you show them that his patterns aren’t healthy while keeping some kind of connection w/ him so they continue to have some contact???

    I too have so much respect for mothers and wives, we do hold our families together!!! Smoky and Sweet, wishing you both well too – nothing worse than a relationship that isn’t going well… although I’m not in a relationship currently I have been thru several horrible ones, am taking a break to focus on what in my own life needs attention, so glad we can share with each other like this! sending my thoughts and prayers to you Ivy, Sweet and Smoky!!!

  43. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Hi Joyce and everyone! I missed a lot of the conversation here, but I just wanted to thank everyone for the kind words and for sharing your own personal stories. Being able to talk with other women who are supportive and understanding makes such a difference. My good thoughts are with all of you going through hard times too. Like someone else said earlier, it won’t last forever. One of my favorite sayings is “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” because it’s so true.

  44. Smoky Rose
    Smoky Rose says:

    good for you, Joyce! and Thank you.

  45. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Oh Joyce, to answer your question, basically I tell my kids that their father loves them but sometimes he doesn’t know the right way to show it. I never speak negatively of him (although at times I would like to!). A part of me would like to stop visitation altogether but that would be too traumatic for my kids so I’m trying to get supervised visitation. My court date is coming up in June. Wish me luck! ;)

  46. Happy Chick aka Harriet
    Happy Chick aka Harriet says:

    I do wish you luck, and blessings for you and your kids; and the blessing of wisdom for your your kids’ father. You are so wise not to speak negatively of him to the kids, even tho’ it is hard.
    Is this the part that is supposed to build character? The hard stuff usually is that way. Hold on. We are here.

  47. Kitty Chicky Cat
    Kitty Chicky Cat says:

    I’m in no position to give marital advice (being single) but I do know It is hard to share your life with someone else, especially man (because they are wired so differently!) even when he is a good man, but when he‘s not… !! I have a friend who married a man she thought loved her (whom she still loves) but he turned on her (verbally)! It’s so hard to watch him ruin her life!!!
    Chickies, the movie “Fireproof” is definitely worth watching!!! Even if your relationship is going well! it’s an excellent movie!! (At the beginning the main character Caleb Holt is a lot like my friend’s ex!)

  48. No Photo
    Mary - Sweet Chick says:

    Still catching up on all the convo’s.
    Just a little clarification. I noticed my chick name (Sweet) got added into the mix for relationships not going well.
    NOT SO!! I have a wonderful hubby NOW!!
    Couldn’t ask for a better man.
    I do have an Ex that would fall into that category though. Verbally abusive. LONG gone and good riddance!
    I’ve moved on and have been blessed with the best possible guy in the world!
    Hang in there ladies. Work it out if you can. I agree with Happy Chick/Harriet though, abuse IS NOT ACCEPTIBLE.

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