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Read the comments (or add your own)

  1. Anita QoG Funny Chick
    Anita QoG Funny Chick says:

    Boy, Elaine, you hit the nail on the head with this one!!!! What’s got you frustrated, BUNKY??????

  2. Chicky Bear-Tara
    Chicky Bear-Tara says:

    Who so frustrated Elaine. What beautiful chips you have chosen for your picks!

  3. Chicky Bear-Tara
    Chicky Bear-Tara says:

    I meant why so frustrated Elaine?

  4. Lynn Eileen Chicky LE
    Lynn Eileen Chicky LE says:

    Beautiful pick, Elaine! Are you frustrated about something or is this just the title of your pick? :D

  5. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Thanks ladies!! I am a little frustrated from dealing with my sister-in-law. Ever since we had to move my Mom to a personal care home and said sister-in-law found out that I was named as Power of Attorney (and not her), she has be quite sour with me about things concerning Mom. The biggest issue is that I do not drive (I have never had a license) so there are a lot of things that I can’t do as far as getting Mom to appointments, etc. She is always sending me emails saying ‘I think you should do this or that’ and they always have driving involved. I’m not sure why she is not telling my brother (her husband) that she thinks Mom should go see a doctor or go here or there; he drives and he is a farmer so it is easier for him to take a bit of time out for things like that whereas I work an hourly job and I just can’t walk away. I have another brother that also drives and farms so I don’t know why they can’t seem to make any decisions on their own; they are both older than me but they expect that I should drop everything so that I go with them. In fact, a few months ago, my one brother couldn’t take Mom to the Post Office by himself for the address change!! So I think it all comes down to the Power of Attorney issue. Ggrrrrrr!!!

  6. No Photo
    Classy Chick JbyJill says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your frustrations…. Unfortunately, whenever everybody should be coming together, it is always what drives everyone apart… Hopefully, things will get better.

  7. No Photo
    Classy Chick JbyJill says:

    By the way, what an awesome pick!!!!!

  8. Anita QoG Funny Chick
    Anita QoG Funny Chick says:

    Elaine, try & be very nice to her, you’ll feel better & it will drive her CRAZY!!! There will be no question of who’s got all the problems!!! It’s hard at first, but it gets easier!!! Just a suggestion!!!

  9. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Good idea, Anita! You’re right though, it will be very, very hard because she has caused lots of problems and messed up communications. Thanks!! :-)

  10. Lynn Eileen Chicky LE
    Lynn Eileen Chicky LE says:

    Elaine, I’m so sorry to hear about all the problems your Sis-in-law in causing for you. :-( . I don’t understand why some people choose to be that way instead of working together in a situation such as this one, but unfortunately there isn’t a lot you can do to change her, only your reaction to her. Anita’s advice is good, even though it’s hard. Be as nice as you can to her and, if possible, deal with her only through your brother instead of directly. I’ll keep good thoughts for you! :-)

  11. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Hi Lynn, how are you doing?
    This has been a love/hate relationship for many years now with this sister-in-law. She can be very condescending and thinks she is the only one that has other things going on in her life. At one point I tried dealing directly with my brother about all of this but unfortunately she screens all the phone calls and emails and, who knows, maybe that’s the way he wants it because I’m sure he is in denial about a lot of things. To me it is a weird set-up! Luckily I had a talk with my other brother who lives nearby (both of these brothers farm just south of here and then I have two more that live in Alberta) and he is going to help out even though he has his own issues; he just found out that he has cancer in his lip and is waiting for surgery. So he has to just go whenever he is called to hospital and then his wife will help out. And you are absolutely right; I do react badly to her comments; it’s something I need to work on! Thanks for the encouragement! :-D

  12. No Photo
    Cotopaxi Chickie Sue says:

    Elaine, are you the only daughter? If so, it makes sense why you have poa and not the daughter-in-law. don’t know if you could point that out to her – might just make her angrier! Seems like she has control issues. Don’t know if that might give you some insight as to why she acts that way – but it’s her problem, not yours.

    Edgy pick, BTW!

  13. Lynn Eileen Chicky LE
    Lynn Eileen Chicky LE says:

    Oh, Elaine, my heart breaks for you having to deal with someone so petty and meanspirited. Sigh…. Wish I had sage words of advice for you. I do think that, while she doesn’t appear to want to deal with everything, she seems to be jealous of the fact that you have the POA. Why, I can’t begin to fathom. It is true that you can’t change how another person acts, only how you choose to react to them. I try to remember that when I’m faced with someone like that and I do find it to be helpful.

    It does sounds as though she has serious control issues, as Sue pointed out, especially since you said she screens all the phone calls and e-mails in the household. Hmmmmm Too bad you can’t find out if your brother prefers it that way or not. It’s not like you could send him an e-mail or call him! LOL

    I’ll continue to hope things get better for you with this woman. It’s not like you don’t have enough other stuff going on in your life, right? ;-)

  14. No Photo
    RubberT aka Plucky Chick says:

    Yes, appropriate pick! I feel your pain, Elaine…man, I rhyme without tryin’!
    My sister and I were so fortunate to have each other’s support, but it is just different with brothers and it took me a while to understand that the men just process mom’s illnes differently. Situations like this bring out the best or the worst in folks and I will have to say that after my mom died, my sister and my brother were at peace knowing we did all that we could for her even though it we all weren’t perfect. I hope you will continue to speak up and let your brothers know you need help. And I hope they will step up and do what they are able!

  15. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Thanks ladies, for your words of encouragement! Because of his help, I have found new respect for my other brother. We have never really had anything in common and we fought a lot when we were kids but we’ve actually have talked more in the past year than we had probably all of the years preceding this, so this is a good thing.
    CC sue, unfortunately I am the only daughter and the youngest (which I have always hated) and I know that a daughter-in-law is not an appropriate person to name as POA but that is the only thing I can think of that would get her goat.
    Plucky Chick, in my family, this type of thing seems to bring the worst out in every one and you must be right about men processing illness differently. I never thought in a million years some of the responses I’ve gotten about things in this past year. In fact, when we realized the rapid decline of my Mom, they still figured she could stay in her suite with us checking in every day, doing her laundry and dishes, having HomeCare to dispense her meds, etc. But she wasn’t eating even though meals were being brought to her. We had gotten a call from one of the Homes that her name on the waiting list but they were in denial. It finally took me to tell them that her mind is going but then what do we do if other faculties start to go, who would take turns going in to change her if there was no opening at a personal care home. I also told them that I couldn’t sit back and watch her starve herself to death in that suite. I’ll tell you, she was moved within two weeks.
    Sorry, I’m rambling.
    Thanks again for your words of advice and encouragement! :-)

  16. Lynn Eileen Chicky LE
    Lynn Eileen Chicky LE says:

    Elaine, don’t ever worry about rambling to us…..we all are here for you. I’m the oldest of 3 and have the POA, etc. in our family for Mom and Dad and I just dread having to use any of it. I’m also the executrix of their will/estate and dread handling that. Not that they’ve got some vast fortune or anything, but I just don’t want to have to face it. Also, my sister and brother have both said they won’t fight over possessions and such, but I’ve seen what can happen in families once parents are gone. Some days I’m glad I have siblings, some days I’m not. Some days I’m glad I only have one child, well, actually, I’m always glad I only have one child! LOL She was a pistol growing up, especially from 13 to 21. Thank God those years are over. :D But I digress….glad this has brought you and your one brother closer together, Elaine. Maybe, in a strange way, that was the purpose of all of this mess.

  17. No Photo
    Mary - Sweet Chick says:

    Elaine, As of yet I have had no personal experience of what you are going through (I pray it never happens). But I still feel for you and what you have to deal with right now.
    My heart and prayers are with you as you go through this process. Stay strong, take courage where you can and be the best version of yourself each and every day! :-)

  18. Chicky Bear-Tara
    Chicky Bear-Tara says:

    Hi Elaine,

    Lot’s of good advice here. I’m sorry that I don’t have any except to try to be nice to your SIL. Sometimes, that works with mean, angry, people. It will drive her crazy. Maybe just asking her for a little advice sometime would help too. She may just want to be involved. Surely she can’t expect for herself to have POA??? Anyway, good luck to you and I hope you find some peace in this matter. If your SIL doesn’t come around, don’t let her stress you out about it.

  19. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Thanks Chickies!
    Lynn, I was thinking the same thing about this whole thing bringing my brother and I closer…that maybe is the whole purpose.
    Tara, My SIL is involved (almost injecting herself in areas that maybe she shouldn’t be) and we do appreciate the role she has taken to a point but many times she injects herself in, decides on something SHE thinks should be done, and then backs right away without offering to help in any way because she says she has other things to do. And I know she has stuff going on in her life with her grandchildren but it seems funny that every single time something with my Mom comes up, she has this or that to do (she is retired). And it is certainly not that we expect her to do everything because that is not her role, it is my brother’s role; but he will not step up to the plate! I think she needs to just back off…if she can’t motivate him to get involved, it is not her place to barge in the way she does. I feel he has put her in an awful position! Maybe that is why she is doing what she is doing.
    Sorry…rambling again! :-)

  20. Chicky Bear-Tara
    Chicky Bear-Tara says:

    No worries Elaine. We don’t mind. You are right…it is not her place. I would probably end up saying something to her if she were my SIL. Sorry that I am not much help.

  21. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    I don’t really see her very often so I don’t have to watch my tongue…but if she were around more often….well, I don’t know! It is much easier to disregard emails from her and not respond unless I have to…as long as I can keep my fingers from misbehaving…hehehe!! :-D
    I feel better now ladies, thanks again!!

  22. Chicky Bear-Tara
    Chicky Bear-Tara says:

    Oh. That would be worse for me. I tend to say things I shouldn’t on email. It’s easier than when you are facing someone!

  23. Leslie W Mtn Chick
    Leslie W Mtn Chick says:

    The problems of dealing with elderly parents are truly difficult. Make sure you take good care of yourself during this stressful time.
    This is what I thought of when I read your pick’s title “Frustration” and then saw it contained bead chips. Here goes… Oh, she must be upset because she has used up her bead budget for the month and can only afford chip strands!!! You know this is coming straight from my own experiences!!!!

  24. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Elaine, your situation does sound very frustrating!! Especially because it’s YOUR mom, not hers. I know (for me, at least) that it can be difficult dealing with in-laws because you have to watch what you say, it seems like they’re always criticizing you, and you don’t quite understand each other as well as your own relatives – usually. My advice would be to not let her talk to you any old way she pleases and do what YOU believe is right. Good luck and I hope everything gets better. :)

    Nice pick, btw! I also used the Medusa pendant and some carnelian chips in my “FRUSTRATION!” pick. I guess they portray the feeling well. ;)

  25. Elaine aka Belly Chick
    Elaine aka Belly Chick says:

    Mtn Chick…hehehe!! Your comment is funny about only being able to afford chip strands…I feel I’m getting very close to that point, in fact I put a bunch of strands in my shopping bag the other day but then decided to take them out and wait, just in case I won a lottery or something!!! LOL :-D

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