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Description from Mommykat Bubbly Chick: A week ago I posted a pick for my friend Emily! Emily lost her 15 year old daughter. Maddie was bright fun & intelligent! She was beautiful and also was a second degree blackbelt & the captain of her Lacross team. She had a steady boyfriend & a loving mom. Tons of friends, everyone loved her. At the service, the room was packed, instructors, teachers, teammates, friends, neighbors, church attenders, family~ easily over 200 people.
Still, Madeline took her own life. All these people Loved her, yet she felt so isolated....whatever problems she had she felt she couldn't overcome, and she didn't talk about it. So I want you all to read this, and think, and Question! Our children have hard lives, pressure from classes, and lessons, Algebra, boyfriends, class mates, ect. No one could tell that Maddie was suffering. No one thought to ask!
This is hard to talk about; harder I think than many illnesses, but a few questions can make all the difference. A reminder that you are there, and willing to listen, can make a difference. There are signs that this may be a problem: Loss of interest, witdrawl, isolation... sudden mood changes, loss of freindship, breakups, death of a loved one. It only takes a minute to open the dialog "are you going to hurt yourself" or more direct "are you thinking of killing yourself" it is not comfortable to speak about, but it can save lives! If anyone of you is interested in additional info on how to talk to your children about this, just let me know.


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Read the comments (or add your own)

  1. Lynn Eileen Chicky LE
    Lynn Eileen Chicky LE says:

    Lorrie, how heartbreaking to learn that Maddie took her own life. Your pick will certainly help someone out there who either knows someone who needs help or is perhaps struggling with those same feelings him/herself. My prayers are still with Emily as she deals with her daughter’s passing.

  2. Little Round Chick
    Little Round Chick says:

    Thanks for the reminder. Our children live more difficult lives than we can imagine. Suicide is a horrible thing to live with and always leaves us thinking, “What could I have done?” It leaves the family devastated and can take years to learn to deal with it. My Father took his life when I was 13 yrs old and 30 years later I was still dealing with the aftermath. Your friend is in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thanks, Lynn & LRC for reading this.
    I am sorry to hear of what happened w. your father, and you were too young for any understanding of it. I don’t know that we can ever understand, but maybe there can be acceptance.

  4. Little Round Chick
    Little Round Chick says:

    Yes there is acceptance of a sort but it takes years to develop any kind of understanding. In retrospect I can better understand the causes. He suffered from major depression and severe paranoia. When it happened those words weren’t even known outside the mental health profession.

  5. No Photo
    Luv2bead - Little Chick says:

    That’s sooooo sad :(

    Pretty pick though!

  6. Frida
    Frida says:

    Ohh you touch me on this one, meself are eating antidepressive and have done it back n forth. Now I think I gonna eat them I dunno but it might be to the end of my life. My first really hard deppresive period, I were 14 or 15 years old… After that I have had some serious, serious depressions and I can say being young (and even adult)the people around you can be cruel… Sincerly/Frida

  7. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank you for sharing this Frida! Depression is a serious problem. A lot of times what is on the inside is damaged, but not seen on the outside, and therefore overlooked. It is up to us as Adults, Parents, Friends, to protect our loved ones.

    Frida, I am glad that you are recognizing this problem, and I sincerely hope you are receiving help.

    Frida, I will say to you that I love you just for being you, and you are a gift to this earth! I hope if you grow troubled again, you will please find someone to talk to; because this world needs us all! God (as you understand him/her) has plans for you!

  8. Frida
    Frida says:

    Thank U Mommykat Bubble Chick! And we need to take care of each other humans as animals. When I were in my first deep depression, my choice where to “ride alone” I had one friend I cared about the others I didn’t trusted I didn’t trusted the adults in my surounding, even not my parents, my mother holding my hand almost every night for more than half year, as I cried myself to slep. Then it become better for a couple of years then hell…

    MommyKat it is very good you talk about this! Thank You

  9. FaeryGoth Chick
    FaeryGoth Chick says:

    you speak wise words Lorrie and you are absolutely right, recognizing the signs of depression or a suicide attempt is crucial! Frida, I do hope you will be able to overcome this and know that we are here if you need a listening ear or a virtual hug xxx

  10. No Photo
    Classy Chick JbyJill says:

    Bubbly, I have been praying for your friend and you…. When I read this, I was deeply sadden that this bright, talented girl with so much going for her would feel so overwhelmed to do this….. I just assumed that she had been ill. Being a teacher, I am always trying to reach out to kids. You just never know what kids are going through. Suicide is not common in grade school children, but you just never know. I hope that I will be one of those teachers who kids will remember who cared and know that I always will be a listening ear.
    I will continue to pray.

    KPJEWELS says:

    Lorrie, I am so sorry to hear that Maddie took her own life. It is very hard to deal with as we all know but I’m ever so grateful that you have brought this all to light. Maybe, just maybe this will help someone who none of us really know. You are such a wonderful person.

    Frida, don’t ever think that you are alone in this. The chickies are all here for you. We keep you in our thoughts and prayers daily.

  12. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank you Sarah & Jill! I know that for Maddie @ 15…my first thoughts were had she been so sick? it is hard to understand, but this type of problem often goes unnoticed until it is too late.
    Jill, that is the best thing you can do as a teacher is to be there, and be strong to remind these children how wonderful they are!

  13. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thanks, Evelyn! I am desperatly feeling right now that if Maddie had talked w/ someone things could have been different. I would love for this to help teach and improve someone else’s life!

  14. Kitty Chicky Girl
    Kitty Chicky Girl says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  15. Claire F
    Claire F says:

    Your friend is in my thoughts and prayers.

  16. Frida
    Frida says:

    Thank U 3KChick! I have learnd alott through the years, soon (couple of days) I turn 28. There is very hard periods of time when I have to struggle… In a sort of a way I thínk I can feel Maddie. If someone want to talk with me with their own struggle or know more about mine, you are welcome to talk to me.

  17. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Kitty Chicky Girl & Luv2Bead I am so graeteful you have both read this! As young Chicks, this is a reminder that even though we are grown up, it is important to expand your circle to include grown ups, and teachers, and give us the chance to listen…

  18. Kitty Chicky Girl
    Kitty Chicky Girl says:

    It’s hard losing someone you love dearly…once they’re truly gone, you realize how much they mean to you. I will keep you in my prayers…

  19. Frida
    Frida says:

    Thank you FaeryG!! Will also say that if you are interessted on my way to tackle this how I look upon it I will share it. Kittymom remeber not to blame yourself, I am not saying you do, but if… It is a complex subject, life is a teacher, myself I also turnd to academic studdies to understand the world better. (Not psychological…. studdies)Not a fan of psychology, eventhough I know it help many people, (hope no one take offence) .

  20. Happy Chick aka Harriet
    Happy Chick aka Harriet says:

    I recently found out that a very long time friend had been in suicidal depression this past fall. We have known each other since about 1970 or ’71. We don’t live close to one another, and are often out of touch for a while…busy lives, etc. Fortunately she did get help. I think she is doing better now. But this kind of depression can hit any age group, any job status or marital status, and any economic level.
    I don’t mean to be an alarmist, but if there are people in your life you think might need a phone call, please make that call. My friend said she knew suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but there was a while when she lost track of that.
    My prayers for Maddie and her family, and for Frida too. Life is such a precious gift.

  21. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank you Harriet, for sharing your experience. It shows, there is help, and sometimes we need to reach out, to volunteer to make that difference!

  22. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    This is a wonderful pick, and such a sad, but important subject. The first time I tries to kill myself, I was 7 years old, I took all the pills in the house I could find, and chased them down with a $100+ bottle of aged scotch of my dads. I was in a coma for a week. I tried numerous times after that. I finally realized, someone was watching out for me, and wasn’t ready for me to die just yet. I still struggle with depression, I take medicine for it, sometimes it helps, sometimes not. Whenever suicidal thoughts rear their ugly head, I think of the people, and animals that I dearly love, and ask myself what it would do to them. I scold myself for my selfishness, and can usually pull myself through it from there. Not to mention what My mom would do to me once I got to the other side :::shudders::: Anyone here, who ever needs to talk, I love you all, I will be here for any, and all of you to the very best of my ability. My prayers go out to you, to Maddie, to her family, and to everyone else who has experienced similar, or has tried or contemplated suicide.

  23. Happy Chick aka Harriet
    Happy Chick aka Harriet says:

    I have to go again. Just wanted to look in here for a few minutes.

    Frida, this is a really good place to come when you need a virtual hug. We are very good at caring. And now we are getting to know and care about you.
    Lorrie, I am so glad you shared this with us.

  24. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Ravin, so young, and so sad! Thank you for sharing your story with us! At any age, this can be a problem, and thank God, we can simply by being who we all are, and asking some questions; making that connection provide help to each other.

  25. Frida
    Frida says:

    I feel you Ravin

  26. Frida
    Frida says:

    Thank you Harriet

  27. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    My Hubby says I’m stubborn, and I say I learned from the best, heehee, my dad!

  28. Frida
    Frida says:

    I hear that alott myself, sometimes I hate being stubborn but most of the time it’s good! Not all the time but when I have my downs I fight with the will to die… I have also serious panic attacks which have lead to very uncomfy and aquard situations…

  29. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    :::groans::: Oh man…I know ALL about panic attacks!! I have “panic disorder” they put me on Xanax for it…I hate that stuff, but when I get hit by the panic, it does help…

  30. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    I take Trazasone for night terrors! It helps too.

  31. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    oops, trazadone

  32. Frida
    Frida says:


  33. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    Yah, they suggested Trazadone to me for my nightmares, but I was really skeptical about taking it with my laundry list of meds that I already take. Turns out a good dreamcatcher helped the nightmares go away almost completely.

  34. Frida
    Frida says:

    serotonin deficience + this n that. Eating sertralin and atarax

  35. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    yeah, if i pop on in the middle of night, ptsd & terrors have me up. but I cant take all the time…need to be easuly woken if kids need me.

  36. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    I hear ya. Would you like me to make you a dreamcatcher?

  37. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    oh, if you would like to do that for me, that would be nice.

  38. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    Sure thing, what colors would you like?

  39. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    oh, i like any…guess i am partial to purple & green

  40. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    Purple and green it is then, any size preferance?

  41. CAS
    CAS says:

    Paxil (Paroxetine HCL) is what I take. When I was 45 I attempted sucide 3 times in 2 weeks, unsucessfully I’m happy to say. I was hospitalized for a short time, and had both group and individual counseling for over a year. I learned to love myself again.

    There are still bad days sometimes, but I know my “bad signs”, and have a close family and friends who know what my “signs” are too. I know that I’ll always be on medication, but it helps so much, that I don’t mind it. I know too that living alone is too much of a risk for me, so here I am at 48 living with my parents again … ah well … such is LIFE ;) .

    Frida and Ravin, my darling girls, anytime … anytime at all … you can talk to me about ANYTHING. I’ve walked the same road, I know the stones and potholes … hugs!


  42. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    Hugs to you as well Christine, and the same goes for you as well, if you need to talk, I’m here. All of us that have walked the road need to stick together. And thank you very much, it means alot to me to know I can talk to you if I need it.

  43. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    CAS, Chicky Babe, thank you for the trust and telling your story. i am glad that your medication is helping, and that you have discovered how wonderful and worthy of love you are! I am also glad you have a support network to help!

  44. Frida
    Frida says:

    Thank you Cas!

  45. Sandra Martinez
    Sandra Martinez says:

    I also take paxil and I will for the rest of my life because it helps me and if I quit I am afraid I would sink into the pit again…Depression runs in my family…now they say it is a chemical problem in your brain and that is why meds help. Frida it would hurt us chickies who have grown to love you if we lost you! Reach out chick to chick and let us help each other. Altho we are miles apart..we can reach out to each other here….another one I pray for is ChickyChaCha, she has depression. I hope she reads this and realizes we love her too!

  46. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Sandra, I am glad that you are taking your meds. Depression is very serious, and can certainly lead to worse difficulties! I know, I too have been worried about ChaCha & Smoky Mary, both of whom have such difficulties!

  47. Violet
    Violet says:

    Lorrie, I am so sorry to here about your friends daughter…. you are so right about our young people, the can seem fine on the outside, but hurting on the inside…. I have worked with young people who deal with depression and suicidal thoughts…. it’s very sad, you and your friend will remain forever in my prayers…..

    For all the other Chicks… yes we are a great group and support each other….this is a wonderful group of ladies !!!!!!!!

  48. Kitty Chicky Cat
    Kitty Chicky Cat says:

    How very sad!!! I am so sorry!!! I’ll be preying for your friend! I don’t know what you would want or need at a time like this but I’ll pray that whatever it is she will receive it!

  49. Kitty Chicky Cat
    Kitty Chicky Cat says:

    You Ladies are all wonderful! I’m glad we have this! Know that you are all loved and that you all have a place to come and just talk or vent if you need to! Hugs!!

  50. No Photo
    Faithful Chick aka Faith says:

    I have had to deal with the depression of my mother, my two children. I had a cousin who had a law degree, she had a husband who is a practicing lawyer, a beautiful daughter in college, and a cute loving son. She had many brothers and a sister who loved her and a mother who cared. The church was filled to overflowing at her funeral. She had had surgery went into a comma after for a length of time and didn’t know much of anything when she first came around. She called her husband a chit when asked who he was. She got lost coming home from work and knew she was not going to get better. I wish I could have told her she would not have been a burden on anyone and hugged her and held her. I wish I could have told her you really never know what tomorrow brings. There are so many things in life to be greatful for and life is so prescious and short. We need to live each day one day at a time and look forward to brighter tomorrows. Chicky hugs and prayers for all in need.

  51. No Photo
    Dora H says:

    So very sorry about your friend. I was always strong willed but after surving Katrina, I thought of nothing but Suicide 24 hours a day, I finally went for help, the HARDEST part was addmitting it on paper, I was put on Citalopram, and that saved my life. Bless you. her friends and family.

  52. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    My moms funeral was filled to overflowing as well, there were flowers EVERYWHERE, so many arrangements it was hard to even navigate through the funeral home. She even got a flower arrangement from her cats, dunno who arranged that one, but how cute is that! The whole thing didn’t really hit home for me until I saw my mother in the casket. The mortitians had tried, I can’t fault them, but the surgery had messed her up so badly that her mouth was stretched too far to the sides from tubes and such, she’d been severely bruised, so they had to use extremely heavy make up, to compensate. Heavy make up was so NOT my mom. When I saw hr laying there, I went to pieces. I ran outside, sad on the steps and bawled my eyes out. I would rather go through cancer again than that. It was the worst experience of my life. I miss her so very badly. My prayers go out to everyone who needs them, you are all the most amazing of people, and I am so happy that I have had the privlege to have all of you in my life. Thank you all for being the amazing friends that you are.

  53. Frida
    Frida says:

    I read and I feel you all! Warm hugs from me to you all. Thank you everybody sharing their stories. Hugs/Frida

  54. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank you Violet! It it true you cannot always tell and as you & Ravin both have said, children we would normally think of as to young for this worry, have these thoughts too; sometimes even acting on them!

  55. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Kitty, that is exactly the best prayer I could ask for on behalf of Emily! Thank you so very much!

  56. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank You for sharing your story, Faith! Faith, it is definatly true that medical conitions & trauma can contribute, but the sad truth is that most of the time we can’t know if we don’t ask. Often the connection; that moment of someone else getting involved allows poeple a moment to think hey someone cares. In a case as your cousin, perhaps it would have needed much more intervention due the medical considerations…but as you said the wish for that one moment is so strong, that desire for them to see, to Finally know they are loved (especially when it is obvious to everyone else)!!!!!!

  57. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Dora, thank you for sharing your extremely sad experience. An event such as Katrina must have been devistating to live through. Certainly this is a very understandable event that would trigger such strong enotions. It is so sad that you suffered so but It is good that you went & received help, all of us Chickies are so glad you are here!

  58. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Ravin, there is nothing ever easy about funerals, and The closer you are to the individual who passed away, the more difficult it can be to manage all the emotions. Depression/ Suicidal tendencies are treatable, but do not necessarily go away…. it is a battle; a struggle to continue to remember your place. (PS~ Remember your place is w/ THE CHICKIES now) and sometimes, check ins are necessary!

  59. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    No one who asks for help would be bothering me and if I am online and can help, shoot me a note, I am glad to listen. Because you are all valuable, and have purpose. You are parents, friends, mothers, sisters, cousins, teachers, neighbors, you are Artists, Crazy, Important, and some of the Sweetest, Strongest, Supportive, Fun Loving Individuals I have the pleasure of knowing!

  60. Chicky Suz aka Susan Z
    Chicky Suz aka Susan Z says:

    Lorrie and all the chickies who commented, I feel for your stories, your pain and losses. Luckily I am not prone to depression, but my sister is. She balks at taking meds, I try to convince her it is necessary. We need to reach out an be there for friends and family members at all times!

  61. Chippy Chick aka Lindys
    Chippy Chick aka Lindys says:

    Lorrie, Very strong and important message for any parent, grandparent, close relative, etc. Especially for those dealing with the tween/teen years. Thank You.

  62. No Photo
    Mary - Sweet Chick says:

    Lorrie, thank you for starting this much needed conversation. It appears, this place (LB) may actually become a lifeline to A LOT of beautiful people out there.

    I want each of you to know you will all be in my prayers. Stay strong. Your life is a GIFT! In the difficult times, find some one to talk to. PLEASE!!!!!!! I’m here for you if I can be any help at all.

    This has been an eye opening conversation to me. I had NO IDEA depression was so wide spread. I care about all of you so much. I look forward to coming here each day and seeing how the rest of Chickdom is doing. I want all of you do continue to be around for a long, LONG time!!!
    Blessings to you all!!!

  63. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thanks, Susan. I agree that taking your medication is very important to overall well being & can contribute to improving overall mental health!

  64. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Linda, I want to thank you for you input as well! We have so many jobs we are responsible for every day, and so many things we always need to get done; as many as the day is long In todays world we get so busy and sometimes we can simply forget to check in w. those who may not volunteer their need for help.

  65. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Sarah, as I was rereading this post, I saw your comments. Thank you for your kind words, and support of all the chickies who are dealing w. this problem!

  66. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Mary, I appreciate your comments as well! Talking about this problem is one of the first steps. Contact, connections, medication, healing…. all of this begins with that first moment. ask the question; save a life!

  67. Cj w aka Slacker Chick
    Cj w aka Slacker Chick says:

    I understand your feelings Lorrie. As a mother of a child who is bipolar w/anxiety I know all to well the ressures children face today. Kayla’s problems culminated in a call to me at work saying she had self-inflected cuts on herself and they would not stop bleeding. She spent about 2 weeks in an outpatient facility for adolescents. I am lucky that we were able to get her the help she needed. She and I have a good relationship so she lets me know when she is getting overloaded. In our busy lives it is easy for us to disconnect from the ones in our lives and to not look deeper. Our children need us more than ever nowdays, not the things we give them, the activities we involve them in, or the pushing to excell at all cost. They need us to truely listen, be available, and simply love them.

  68. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Oh, CJ, I am so sorry, when ever you need to talk, I am here. I am so glad you are able to get help for Kayla, and That you have learned to communicate about things. I am so grateful that you would share this story, and I am glad Kayla has you looking out for her!!

  69. Cj w aka Slacker Chick
    Cj w aka Slacker Chick says:

    Lorrie, thank you so much. It can sometimes be hard. Mental illness is still such a touchy topic for most people.

  70. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    I agree it is, and education is important. it isn’t contagious, ans it doesnt hurt to reach out, it doesn’t take long to make that connection… to say hey I am sorry you are hurting, can I listen. It is so worth it if it saves someone! And when it gets frustrating, CJ you can always drop me a note to have venting time!

  71. Cuban Queen Crazy Chick
    Cuban Queen Crazy Chick says:

    Lorrie, what a truly tragic story, I can’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like to lose a child. My heart goes out to that family. Thank you for reminding us all to be aware of the warning signs of severe depression that could lead to suicidal thoughts. I have had a close friend attempt suicide multiple times and it’s a scary thing to go through for everyone involved. And to all the chicks, thank you all for sharing your very personal, sensitive stories. It’s nice to know that you’re not alone in your struggles and that we all have each other to talk to. Love to you all.

  72. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Ivy, sorry to hear that your friend struggles w/ this as well. it is so hard on everyone, including the friends, who may not know what to say. Ivy, I know you are a wonderful friend, and I it is good your friend has the support.

  73. Lynn g
    Lynn g says:

    What a beautiful memorial, and I’m sure you touched her family like you did with us here. You have a special energy that people and children need. You keep those thoughts you have and share with the world.

  74. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thanks, Lynn for reading this & for your support! I think the best way to make our world better is by being the kind of person who tries to!

  75. Green Eyed Lady Chick
    Green Eyed Lady Chick says:

    Lorrie I just read your post and wanted to convey my condolences to you and your friend. My life was touched twice by suicide, an uncle and a friends 18 yr. old son. I also have looked into that
    darkness myself a few times and thank God for my husband and my sisters who realized
    somthing was wrong! You LB.Chicks are a wonderful and caring family, take care of each other. Lorrie I belong to a prayer chain and I will add you & your friend to it… God Bless You

  76. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    EA, Thanks for reading this! I appreciate you sharing how this has affected you & your family! It is I think exactly as you say, a darkness that isolates, and attacks when we feel alone. Most anything seems worse when you are alone, and depressed, sometimes things even seem insurmountable. But there is help available, and raising awareness is a huge step in the right direction!

  77. No Photo
    Deb D Grammy Chick says:

    Oh, Lorrie…how terribly sad for your friend Emily. I can’t imagine anything worse than losing a child. I, too, suffer from depression, and have for many years. I know what it feels like to lose all hope and feel that life is no longer worth living. I have felt suicidal on a number of occasions in the past, but I am now on both Citalopram and Bupropion, and have managed to avoid severe depression since taking this combo of meds. My daughter has panic/anxiety disorder, but has done much better with medication and the happy distraction of her two children. Do I still get depressed? Yes, but not as badly as I used to, and when I do, I think about my loving family, my friends, and all of you wonderful Chicks with your love and caring. We are indeed a unique and amazing community, and knowing that all of you are out there has made a big difference in my life. My heartfelt sympathies to Maddie’s family, and all of you who have lost someone due to depression. Many Chicky hugs and much love to all of you in the Garden, and know that I will be here to support all of you as you support me.

  78. Happy Chick aka Harriet
    Happy Chick aka Harriet says:

    I hate to bring this up, but the loss of my nephew this weekend and then reading the comments here, makes me think we need one more note. I know after we lost my father-in-law in January 2007, and then my mom in March 2007, it was a long dark time for me in many ways. I am by nature a fairly upbeat person, but things were pretty bleak for a while. I was surrounded by loving caring people, and came through it OK. I am fortunate not to be subject to deep lasting depression. But losing loved ones can be a huge stresser.
    When we know someone who has lost a loved one, we need to be watchful and pro-active. I had friends who called me, family who spent time with me, and really practical people who would say “I’m meeting you for lunch and shopping today. Be ready by 11:00.” That may sound odd, but it was so nice to know there were people who just accepted that I was hurting and who did not leave me to “work it out for myself.”
    When we know someone is hurting, that is the time to be sure they know they are loved and valued. Don’t stay away because the loss of a loved one, or a job, or a pet, whatever…just makes you uncomfortable. I hope this does not sound too preachy, but we can all make a difference just by being available and showing we care.

  79. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank you Debbi for sharing your story & experience with us all! I am sorry you battle depression, but am greatly encouraged to hear you have good medication, and support from family & friends to help you.

  80. Frida
    Frida says:

    Lorri it is fantastic to read this. Suicide has been here as long as we humans. Just thinking that around 17 and 18 th century suicide where considered a sin then it becomes insanety… There is a still a stigmatizatin of suicide. In the old days people that murded themselves couldn’t get burried at the church …. (forgot the word) so people tried to hide the fact that theír close ones had commited suicide.
    Nowadays we have drugs that as in my case helps me produce serotonin, so it might be that the suicide rate has decreased, might be, statistic has its flaws and about the old days it is hard to tell…

    Another thing, is when things happen such as when I have acted out crasy ending uand up in hospital, I can tell it is not all friends that has the strenght to stay as a friend.

    Hope I remeber the history right…


  81. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Harriet, thank you for bringing up the connection between loss and these sucidal tendencies. Thank you for reminding us that sometimes there are obvious signs people need help, and we can do things to bridge the gap. sometimes even the small things can add up! I am proud of you Harriet, for continueing to think of others even while dealing with your own greif.
    Your comments really help to show that not knowing what to say, or being afraid to say it (oh what if I am wrong) should not be enough to deter human compassion.
    Ladies, when I posted this, I hoped only to make even one person aware that this affects people of any age, and that sometimes we need to step up and be proactive…. because you may not know that you should have asked until it is too late!

  82. AllureofGemsGlamJulia
    AllureofGemsGlamJulia says:

    So sad, so tragic. My prayers go to everyone involved :)

    I never went or go through depression per say but once, when I was 19, 3rd year in college and was dropped by my boy friend, my first love. I did atempt a suicide and I am soooooooo happy it was unsucsessful.

    I do have anxiety attacs though and take Lexapro for it so, I can sleep at night instead of worry about everything…


  83. AllureofGemsGlamJulia
    AllureofGemsGlamJulia says:

    OH, Lord I did not mean to put a smily face there. So sorry I do not know how to remove it …

  84. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    I take lexapro too, and xanax…:(

  85. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank you Julia, for sharing you experience as well. I too, am so grateful for your lack of sucess!
    It is hard sometimes to remember when we are hurting that there is more ahead for us, and that we are not alone. Depression can increase the feelings of being alone sometimes our pain clouds our judgement. That is why looking out for one another, and asking the question can really help.

  86. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    And Julia, your smile is Always welcome!

  87. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    There is a poem I wrote when I was 14, that I think sheds a touch of light on some of those kids out there needing help, Lord knows, I was one of them as I ran away from home at age 12 abd didn’t go back till about 13 years ago.
    Street Life
    His innocent blue eyes take in the street around him
    Born of a broken home, he was abandoned to the stereet,
    stealing food out of the garbage, so as to eat.
    Now this boy is a young man of 18, word on the street has it,
    He’s grown up mean, fighing and killing, just to survive,
    wondering how much longer he’ll manage to stay alive.
    Now the street life stoty goes on and on, for that poor child, is never gone.
    There’ll be another one, left on their own, making the street, their one, only home.

  88. Frida
    Frida says:

    I am sorry if I am preachy or clumsy in any way, I just writes whats on my mind.
    Everybody that wants to talk or ask something is welcome!

    The pics are for Maddie

    Attachment Attachment Attachment

  89. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    Beautiful pictures.

  90. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    That is sad, and certainly true…there are some who are lost to us and themselves no matter what we do. Kindness comes in many forms tho, so we can always look for opportunities to improve a life!

  91. No Photo
    Deb D Grammy Chick says:

    I don’t find you preachy or clumsy at all, Frida, and your pics are beautiful.

  92. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Oh Thank You Frida. I do at least have a comfort that she has found her way to rest! and hopefully in a place so beautiful as this!

  93. Frida
    Frida says:

    Wonderful poem Ravin!
    Deb, I find it really hard to make conversation like this becaue I can hear the tone of voice the person have whom I talk with, moreover because I ‘am not a native speaker I become even more worried. So it good to know that u understand me, ;)

  94. Frida
    Frida says:

    can’t hear

  95. Frida
    Frida says:

    May She Rest in Peace and no more suffering

  96. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank You, and may awareness of this problem help to save another!

  97. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Oops, & I meant to say thank you for sharing your poem Ravin! (forgive me? I have 5 children clammoring in the other room~ They are watching Jurrassic park & yelling at dinosaurs)

  98. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    No worries Lorrie…kids’ll be kids, and hey Jurrassic Park! Woot cool movie! Heh. ;)

  99. No Photo
    Shawn l says:

    lorrie, i am so sorry to hear of the young lady who took her life. when i was 15 i attempted suicide,i suppose anyone that would have been watching me would have never known the silent hell i had inside me. you are right about someone asking can sometimes really turn suicide around. many times i wanted soooo badly to tell someone i was hurting but i was so embarassed because my family had all the outward appearences of being “perfect”. as i have grown, i have realized the best thing i can do when i start to feel depressed is to make personal connections with others. i appreciate everyone of here with their honesty about this subject. i will keep maddie’s family in my thoughts.

  100. Bead-itudes
    Bead-itudes says:

    I am so sorry to hear about Maddie. What a tragedy that her family, friends, community will never know what she might have been able to accomplish in her lifetime.
    My neighbors nephew committed suicide about 4 years ago. For what ever reason the family says they never saw it coming, he seemed to have everything going for him. Was always a good kid, never gave them any trouble, was doing very well in college, seemed to have a very bright future ahead of him. There was no note – no explaination as to why he felt this was the only answer. They have had no closure – only questions. Why?Why?why?
    Why didn’t we see it coming?
    what was so terrible that he couldn’t talk to us about it?
    The family and friends that are left behind live in misery.

  101. Happy Chick aka Harriet
    Happy Chick aka Harriet says:

    Frida, I like the pictures. Very beautiful.

  102. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Shawn, Thank you for sharing your story! everyone who reads this, and adds to this is making a difference.
    I am very grateful that you have survived, as are all of the Chickies! Thank you also for explaining what you held inside, and how badly you were screaming to be helped even though it was a silent plea! if someone had asked how you were, perhaps you could have been helped sooner.

  103. No Photo
    Shawn l says:

    yes i think if just one person had reached out in any way i would have opened up. i am hoping everyone that is reading this will gain some insight as to how people who are hurting can be helped. really and truely a “whats going on in your life” can make all the difference in the world.

  104. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Bead-itudes, thank you! You also bring up an important point. If there are not a lot of obvious signs, what can we do? Many people get depressed, and although there are no guidelines, there are some circumstances that contribute: change of school /loss of loved one /loss of job /breakup / classmates or social pressures / low self opinion / Poor grades / sudden withdrawl/
    but the easiest way to find out is to ask. How are you? if someone says not good, odds are you should ask a few more questions. Life gets very complicated, and people do not always show what they hold inside.

  105. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Shawn, I do surely wish that someone had known, and helped, but I am glad that you learned to ask for what you need! I too am hoping someone will read this and be able to make a difference in someone else’s life!

  106. No Photo
    Shawn l says:

    thank you lorri, i am glad i finally learned to open my mouth! i have a good life now,i had many blessings in store for me and i am so glad i am here to receive them.

  107. sunny chick
    sunny chick says:

    I read all the thoughts and stories associated with this pick and my heart is breaking. My thoughts and heart go out to all of you ladies who are suffering. Thank you all for sharing your stories. I joined this beading community to exchange creative ideas. However, I realize now I joined much more than that. You are all such a caring and loving group. Thank you!

  108. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    I’ll tell ya, I was at one of the lowest points of my life, when one day, web surfing,when I happned upon LB. I have no doubt whatsoever that I was guided here. I am so thankful for this site, and all the wonderful people I have met here. You are ALL amazing, wonderful, and incredibly full of heart. I shudder to think the state I’d have stayed in, ans how much worse it would have gotten, had I not found LB, and all of you. Thank you, eveyone. I love and cherish you all.

  109. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thanks MT Designs, for commenting on this! Whatever the reason that you found us, we are all glad to have you. It is amazing what a difference having friends and support can make in a persons life!

  110. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Ravin, it is good you found a home aside from home, where you can be yourself find a source for some of the love you deserve!

  111. Happy Chick aka Harriet
    Happy Chick aka Harriet says:

    Hey Sweet Ravin! Of course you belong here! And we are so glad to have you in the “hen house.”

    MTDesigns: We are glad to hear from you too. I think LB shows what a group of good people can offer each other in friendship and support.
    And of course, we really do BEAD too.

  112. No Photo
    Dora H says:

    We are all family….. :)
    which is great !!
    God bless us ALL..

  113. No Photo
    Science Chick Runs Sibes says:

    You Chicks are awesome. Not only are you creative but you are incredibly caring. I want to hug each and every one of you.
    Wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze–telling yourself that you are wonderful. Because that’s what I’m saying to each of you right now.

    To LB, thanks for creating this hearth to which we can come for friendship as well as ideas. Did you know what you were creating? You should be very proud!

  114. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thank you Harriet, Dora & Gayle, Harriet, YES, we do bead! LOL

    I continue to be grateful to all who read this, and thank you all so much for sharing your personal experiences and for continueing to reach out to one another! Its no wonder I love this site so!

  115. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    I took Rhiannon to a Candlelight service for Maddie this evening. I was suprised by the number of parents who when I asked, said they had not talked to their children about this.

  116. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    That is so sad, problems like that aren’t going to go away with non-communication, everyone, young, middle, and old alike ALL need to understand this, and seek help if needed or seek to help if that’s what’s needed. The children are the future, if they kill themselves off, because no one bothered to open their eyes or mouths, where does that leave that future?

  117. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    I am feeling frustrated by this at the moment! I even offered, as I did here to help in the discussion, so we can protect and look out for everyone who was touched by the loss of Maddie.

  118. No Photo
    Vampire Chickie Ravin says:

    I don’t blame you Lorrie, too many people are far too willing to just sweep this kind of thing under the rug, turn their heads, and pretend it isn’t happeneing. “Oh no, it couldn’t ever happen in MY family.” it’s bullpoopie…people need to open their eyes, stand up, and do the right thing. But unfortunately, there are far too many people for which “ignorance is bliss.”

  119. Truly
    Truly says:

    Wow. This hits home because I have struggled almost my whole life with Bi-polar disorder. I have suffered depression, addiction, self-harm, and attempted suicide. Depression is a scary, and rarely talked about, disease. If anyone is interested, I am an advocate for a non-profit organization entitled To Write Love on Her Arms. They bring awareness to these issues especially in teens. It is a strong organization and brings light to a “silent” disease. Please read a bit about it. I am a recovering self-harmer. I recently decided that I was going to quit using razor blades, scissors, nails, and any other sharp object to help release my pain. My heart goes out to this family. I know the pain that both Emily and her family suffer.

    Attachment Attachment Attachment

  120. Truly
    Truly says:

    My apologies… my last line should read: I know the pain that both MADDIE and her family suffer.

  121. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Truly, thank you for sharing your personal experience. It is very difficult to cease such a behavior, and I am so proud of you!
    I have a foster child who tries to hurt himself- he had developed a ‘picking’ habit while he was in the homeless shelter, and will still scratch himself till it bleeds. It is so hard to watch him hurt himself because he only does it because he hurts so much inside.
    I am glad to hear that you are fighting to give your self love, and not cut to release the pain. Be kind to yourself while you learn to replace these hurtful behaviors…. change can be difficult even for the best reasons.
    Please know that this is a wonderful safe sight to vent, filled w/ many kind & caring women who have formed a terriffic support group!

    When I first posted this, I had no idea how many women would be able to relate, express their personal battles w/ these difficulties! I was dealing with my own shock, and grieving process, and just wanted to raise some awareness. I never dreamed it would open this many helpful communication lines!

    To all of you who face these battles, please know you are not alone, even when it most feels as if you are. There are others who face similar problems, just as there are those who can see you as the wonderful person you are, and value you simply for being you!

  122. Sandra Martinez
    Sandra Martinez says:

    Lorrie, you are such a beautiful person.

  123. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Thanks Sandra, you know I love you too!

  124. Truly
    Truly says:

    Thank you so very much for the support. I have never met you, but I know in my heart that you are a truly beautiful person. I am honored to have met you here.

  125. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    Dawn, you can get to this pick from here.

  126. Mommykat Bubbly Chick
    Mommykat Bubbly Chick says:

    I hope this helps you feel not so alone. Wish I could hug you in person

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